Shortly after I moved up here my cell phone stopped working.
Fido (my carrier) was like, "Yeah, you can get expanded coverage and it will work, for an extra 5 dollars per month." (41.99 total)
Then I was like, "pfft!"
So they were like, "Well, ok, we'll make it work for free, just don't cancel."
Then I was like, "Well, why wouldn't you do that in the firstplace?"
And they were like, "because we hate you!"
So I was like, "pfff-fff-fffft!"

So I cancelled my contract and got a landline, and it only took me 2 months! I went the VOIP route, which means I don't really have a phoneline, my calls just go through my broadband connection. This technology is only tenuously legal in Canada, as I understand it, but whatever, It's only 14.95$ per month; that's all that matters. Also, you get a neat looking adapter-box-thing. Best of all, you don't have to pay money to a stupid, abusive conglomerate such as Rogers or Telus. Unfortunately, the company I got it from (Comwave) hasn't set-up in the 250 area code yet, so they gave me a toll-free '1-866' number, which is kind of funny. I wish they had given me a '1-800' number, and then let me pick the rest, so I could have picked like: 1-800-AWESOME, or 1-800-PANCAKE, or 1-800-URPOOPY, or something really profound. Actually, maybe it's best that they didn't.

So yeah, you can call me now (1-866-840-2765), but you shouldn't because I'll just pretend that I can't speak English and that you have the wrong number. That'll show you, whoever you are!