Friday, March 17, 2006

I bought a package of extra bold Sumatra coffee beans from Starbucks this week with a gift card I got for christmas. It fills me with liquid happiness, which is much preferrable to solid or gas happiness. Sorry for being awol lately. The end of term is busy because I do nothing during the first 3/4 of the term. Also, I have Avian Influenza. I wrote an essay about Samuel Taylor Coleridge last week, who was a pretty wicked Romantic writer who was addicted to laudanum. He also invented those little stoves that you bring along on camping trips. Oh no wait, that was Coleman. Tickets have been purchased (thanks Dad!) for the trip to Leah and Sam's wedding in Montreal in the month of Août. The anticipation is growing in my stomach, kind of like that time I drank a fish tank full of seamonkeys. The rest of this post is a pointless series of non-sequiturs, don't read it.

Speaking of funny addictions, this study showed that a small number of people who take Ambien, which is a sleeping pill, become sleep-eaters. Hahaha, sleep-eaters. One lady gained 100 lbs, and she couldn't figure out why. Apparently it has something to do with the brain confusing the urge to sleep and the urge to eat. Its funny because the sleep-eating people apparently go into a weird, unconscious, feral type state. They just eat anything they can get their hands on, like bags of hamburger buns and raw flour. I bet they sound something like: "Mawwgrr Mawgglll!" I think I should start taking Ambien.

I didn't do anything un-school-related last week, so I don't have much to talk about. Boo! Hiss! Stop writing! That's what all the people in this computer lab are yelling at me. Well, it's kind of a silent yelling, without looking at me, but you have to read betweens the line with psychos. Or is it compulsively reading between the lines makes you a psycho? Who can remember? Sleep-eaters, that's who.

The Canucks have been causing the opposite of mirth in my heart laterly. Anti-mirth, you might say, if you were prone to making up fake words. And you are, I know you are, you big fakewordinator. My anti-mirth is under control though, I still have the baseless faith which is requisite for being a sportsfan. Remember that one Carebear who always went around calling everyone "sportsfan"? He was pretty awesome, although he seemed like more of a lion than a bear. I once had a kitten named Sporty. He would skoot around the floor willy nilly. He didn't skoot as much as Skooty, mind you, but he skooted his fair share. Later we had to give him away. I think he grew up to be a greyhound.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

On The Current news show on CBC radio, they were talking about how ppl on Ambien can become really violent, but don't remember at all... like they're sleep walking, but replace 'walking' with 'torturing'.

I think insomnia is better than unwittingly eating tons of flour and hitting family members. But that's just me.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:51:00 a.m.  
Blogger Floozie said...

it all depends on the type of flour and the type of family members.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 12:49:00 p.m.  
Blogger denielle said...

well i think everyone can agree that insomnia is better than hitting flour and eating family members. cause that's just messy!
i wonder what would have become of coleridge had he been on ambien rather than laudanum... perhaps his poems would have been more domestic. y'know, more flour-gummed morning breath, less abyssinian maids...

Saturday, March 18, 2006 1:44:00 p.m.  
Blogger Axel said...

I think that the Atom and the FLash teamed up to creat those little camping heating things and that the super villan Carl Coleman (the most lukewarm man on the planet) stole the idea.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:34:00 p.m.  
Blogger Chuck said...

You say 'Coleman,' but all I hear is "Whatchu Talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Sunday, March 19, 2006 2:15:00 a.m.  
Blogger Floozie said...

judah you need to update
seriously
you are so annoying

Friday, March 24, 2006 5:20:00 a.m.  
Blogger denielle said...

you should post part of your foe paper. who doesn't wanna read about foe? anyways, it would be a new post, and you're due my friend. you're so beyond due.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 6:41:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right now David is asleep face down on my couch. Yesterday he did the same thing because he'd been up all night writing his last essay, except he had a blanket over his head, and only over his head. He naps in the strangest ways... it always makes me laugh, and then he looks at me all dozy with those bloodshot eyes like i'm the weird one.

Thursday, March 30, 2006 10:53:00 a.m.  

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