This morning I went on a hunger strike against hunger strikes. It lasted 15 seconds. This means it was either a spectacular victory or an abysmal failure (always a fine line). The product with which I conquered hunger strikes (or which ruined my hunger strike) was “I can’t believe it’s not I can’t believe it’s not butter!”, which is also known as butter. Said butter was slathered on English muffins, which are the second staple in my breakfast diet, behind staples. This should not be confused with my breakfast diet behind STAPLES, which is mostly garbage, since the only thing behind STAPLES in Prince George is a grimy parking lot.

And, thus, Infallible Plankton regained his title as the least informative poster in the blogosphere, the narrator mumbled drowsily.