Saturday, February 3, 2007

I have a feeling that this is going to be a good year. Given that 2007 is the year of the James Bond, how could it not be? My job turned out to be only about 1-month long, but that’s fine. It was a good start to the year as it improved my confidence, health and financial status. Also, I have made a brainstorm-format list of things to do next, and it has a whale doodle on it. Therefore I will succeed.

It would be nice to stay in Prince George with Roxanne for the next few months, but I might also go back to Asia (if it’s still there) and teach ESL again. Plans are tenuous to non-existent at present.

It was Roxamazon’s birthday on Tuesday, and now she is 23. Unfortunately, I was still in Chetwynd so I missed it. Moop. I always forget that she is 3.5 years younger than me because it feels like we are the same age. Speaking of forgetfulness, Roxanne doesn’t have any. Now, I have a pretty good memory. For example, you owe me $50 dollars—please send it in the mail. But Roxanne’s is much better; it’s like … photogenic. Case in point: she bought me a Wassily Kandinsky calendar from the calendar store down in the calendar district because they were having calendar sale. I said: “wow, he’s one of my 3 favourite modern artists.” Then she said: “yeah, the other 2 are Picasso and Malevich.” Then I was like: “how did you know that?” Apparently I had told her this during the second week we were dating, which was about 1.5 years ago. Anyway, this is just a random note about her abundant specialness.

To right you will see a pride of lions feeding, please stay in the vehicle—except you, I don’t mind if you get out, just sign this insurance waiver. To the right of the lions you will see that there are 2 new links on the untitled link field. Both are for friends of mine from school who have recently started blogging: Andrew Kurjata (pronounced … well, I think it’s something like a combination of “cur” and “regatta”) and Petra Gentleman, who is not a gentleman. Confusing last names notwithstanding, you should check out their blogs.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007


This is where I live now. Note the distinct lack of computers and repent for your criticism. Actually, I don’t live in the forest; I just spend my days there. My nights sleep in Tumbler Ridge, which has surprisingly little to do with plastic beverage containers. The reason I am there is the Mountain Pine Beetle, which I am single-handedly trying to eliminate through a series of staring contests. Yes, I am a beetle prober. To understand what this job entails, picture the scene from Starship Troopers where Johnny jumps on the giant bug’s back, shoots a hole in it, and then throws a grenade into it causing a giant explosion of goo; then add snow.

To describe this without making things up, I am a beetle prober, which means I walk around the forest in snowshoes for 8 hours a day looking for “treatment trees.” Last Thursday it was -32, which is cold. Happily, this experience is helping to prepare me for the coming nuclear winter, which I will be working on at my next job, probably. Although this job is the most completely obvious step I could possibly take after an English degree, I have not been able to employ my English skills effectively because most of the beetles speak Dutch. So, I have been forced to resort to drawing pictures of pancakes and windmills in the snow, and then scratching them out threateningly.

The best part of this job is the helicopter rides, which are really neat because we are just East of the Rockies, so they can be seen in all their scenic rockiness. The worst part about this job is that I have to live far away from Roxanne, so I have no one to annoy. Luckily, I have the ability to store up all my annoyingness and then let it all out in one word. That word is hotmail.
Because of the sporadicalness of this job, it will probably only last for 4 or 5 more weeks, after which point I plan either to get some other random employment, or to travel somewhere. That’s that and Jack’s back. In this case, Jack is me and “back” means not back.

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