I've been watching a lot of Monty Python lately. I like that skit that is a talk show about trees and various wood related things, like a block of wood and a bucket of sawdust. I'm happy to have a class with a British professor starting in 1 week. I think the British are the funniest people. Roxanne and I have agreed John Cleese will make a good godfather.

Last Monday we had an indoor Easter egg hunt. By "we" I mean 5 people aged 19-27. I got a package of Caramilk bunnies, which are just like Caramilk squares, but bigger and shaped like bunnies (in case you didn't catch that from their name). I know Mikara did, because she has professed her Caramilk love before. You should start a cult Mikara: Caramilkology. You could call yourself the Grand Caramilkara. I'd join, as long as there was free Caramilk.

On Sunday we saw Danya as they were passing through. By the way, Danya = Dann & Tanya. It's like one of those celebrity name-combining things; you know, like Bennifer or TomKat, but with less Scientology. In fact, I am pretty sure Danya are not Scientologists at all. Although Dann has memorized all of John Travolta's dance scenes from Saturday Night Fever. Fortunately (and surprisingly) he didn't have any of his polyester jumpsuits with him, so we played board games in their hotel room. That's not a euphemism; we really did play board games.

My enjoyment of board games is inordinate (except Yahtzee, which is stupid). I think this is because boardgames (like many things) are self-contained worlds where good, bad, victory, and defeat are all clearly defined. As opposed to the real world, which is big and confusing, where good seems contingent, victory is ambivalent, reference points keep floating, and I can't even spell axium. I'm on a 3 game winning streak for crib right now, which is probably a personal record; I'm not very good at crib. Once when I was in Quebec I played crib against a lady named Lucille, whom I think was my Great Aunt's sister-in-law (I don't know what that makes her to me). Anyway, the point is that she was really old, so I thought I win easily. I thought it would be like taking canding from a very old baby. But it wasn't. Oh how very wasn't it was. Lucille rocked my cribbage world like nobody's business, and that was not the bee's knees in any way, shape, or form. The moral of the story is: old people will rock you at crib.

I had my last exam on Thursday. The exam was on Romantic literature, so I studied hockey statistics. After some fairly liberal reading between the lines, I gambled that the professor would suddenly decide to change the subject of the exam to hockey. He didn't. Oh well, at least I'll do better in the pool; that's all that really matters. Plus I think Zdeno Chara was a Poet Laureate at some point anyway. I have Detroit and Ottawa penciled in for the finals, with Calgary and either New Jersey or Carolina as the other conference finalists. It's really hard to say though. I won't remind anyone how poor my olympic predictions were.

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It snowed on Good Friday, so we sculpted a snowbunny. It was so convincing that the cat thought it was real. Well, it was a real snowbunny, but the cat thought it was a real fleshbunny. Then she tried to eat its ear, without much success. Cruel, I know, but what else can you expect from a kitten named Deathbringer?

After exams on Thursday we went bowling. It was a good Thursday, but not Good Thursday, because there is no such day. I met Roxanne’s friends Andrew Ferrence and Shalina Edge (no relation to “The Edge,” I asked). Andrew Ferrence is starting a dodgeball league next fall at UNBC. I rock at dodgeball. I was like a dodgeball sensei in grade 6; sometimes skinny is good. Andrew Ferrence is also good a queue-jumping, he had a Run-D.M.C. t-shirt with soft looking lettering, and he and Shalina are going to Cuba next week. They are cool. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is.

I bowled above my expectations. First I was bowling with the watermelon ball and the light blue one (which I thought of as the Pastel Blue Sphere of Eternal Destruction), but I switched to the pink ball because the first two were too light and always left one or two pins up despite my flawless technique. Plus pink tempers my overwhelming manliness. It's hard not to be manly when you are 145lbs and your mom buys most of your clothes for you. Shalina bowled a tribute to Todd Bertuzzi. Her score was 44 after 7 frames and stayed there for the last 3. It’s a tribute because his number is 44 and he is also inept. I am comfortable making him the scapegoat for the demise of the Canucks’ season. We loved you that one year when you scored 48 Todd, but now it’s time to go away. Far, far away.

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I made scrambled eggs in the microwave this morning. That was because our oven has been moved because new owners come soon (I leave tomorrow). I didn't know how long to cook the eggs for so I just hit the salmonella button. They didn't taste like salmon at all though, funny.
I'm at school now because I had a saturday exam and the buses only run on the hour on saturdays. Exam was good. I gnu everything on it because I was at school for 12 hours yesterday studying for it. 15+ years into my academic career and I can still never remember how much studying helps. I put Chuck's link back up again because it is alive again since he has returned from his trip to ... let's say ... Togo? Also, because it has the line: "Now that I've lost your attention, please feel free to look at this picture of an RV with a giant cow on top." Pure gold. I should have used that in my exam. Dang!

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I got 2 free hamburgers at school today; my life is complete. Also, I wrote a poem about dinosaurs (sort of!). Check it out.

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Hey! The internet still works. Take that real world! I'll have to postpone my grapefruit eating plans 'til later on this morning.

I read a .pdf poetry magazine called Norther that was made by students and staff at my school. Its contributors are: Creative Writing prof guy, library guy who has a New Order t-shirt, girl from some of my classes who was in a play that I almost went to see, and Denielle from comments! It's really good. I don't know if it's posted anywhere on the hinternet, but I can send it to you if you want (and you do).

The library has a food-for-fines exchange program. I brought in 2 cans of beans and 1 can of soup and they erased my fines. Hooray! It makes sense since fines are just to prod ppl to return their books, not to make profit. So it's nice to make it easy for ppl to pay off their fines in a way that helps others. The smallness and newness of UNBC seems to allow it to implement more commonsense things. My experience with larger schools has been that they get bogged down by bureaucratic retardation and no one really knows what's going on. Nevermind that they don't have any moose sightings.

Roxanne has an Anne of Green Gables bookmark that matches her Anne of Green Gables book, which she bought at the fictional home of Anne of Green Gables on Prince Edward Island (which is a real place). You might know I am a fan of symmetry, and it's hard to align things more than that. 3 cheers for symmetry! Actually, make it 2, that's an even number.

Recent news that proves I control and invented the internet: nytimes.com is now copying me by using the "Georgia" font, which I also invented. Seriously guys, bush league. It doesn't matter what you do. I'll never forgive you for charging 50$ dollars for "Times Select" access. I'll "Times Select" you! Wait, wait, I take it back! I love you nytimes! Forgive me. Help!

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